Mormonizm and Me

I think it’s about time I reveal a little more about my past...

If you check out the new links on the right side of the page it will give you a clue.

That's right, I was raised Mormon.

If you've never heard of a Mormon it’s probably because you live on the east coast or around the mid-west. Mormons dominate society in Utah and have a strong influence in Arizona, but outside of that they're pretty well dispersed through out the world. If you want some slanted information on the Mormons a.k.a. the Church or Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints visit their website. If you Google "Mormon" you'll find a lot of anti-Mormon information (most of which is based on half-truths, but some that raise real and logical concerns about the organization), as well as, the site I just referenced.

I was the first born to a couple who had only been married for nine months and three days (they didn't waste anytime). Mormons are really into big families, I've known some to have 21 children, and yes, that was with one mother; all single births. Mormons are the ultimate breeders, and being as diligent as they are in that area, they have a real issue with homosexuality.

Being the first of six children in a Mormon house hold is a lot of responsibility; it is your job to set a good example for the rest of the little ones. The best and most popular way for an Eldest son in the LDS (LDS is another term for Mormon) Church to do this is to serve a full-time mission.

Young Mormon men will often choose to serve a mission when they're 19 years old. They leave their family and try to teach the Mormon religion to total strangers. They're usually gone for 2 years.

You might be asking, "Why the hell would someone do that?"

Well it’s for the same reason that people choose to hide their sexuality; society pressures them to. Some of these young men will do their best to convince you that they "wanted" to go on a mission. The truth is that most Mormon young men are looked down on if they don't serve their two years. On top of that, most Mormon women won't even consider dating a man who is not a return missionary. It’s a deeply rooted part of their culture.

So who do you think fell victim to this cultural pressure...me, of course. I wasn't interested in dating women, but I was interested in pleasing my family. I had spent all of my life trying to please them...I wasn't about to stop.

Serving in the coldest part of Japan for two years was a special kind of hell for me. Having been raised in one of the largest and hottest deserts in the world...I was rather accustomed to the heat, not the cold. Snow was, and still is, so foreign to me. On top of that, Japanese people really aren't interested in Christianity. They think of Christianity much like some Americans think of the Islamic religions. In other words, they would rather shove bamboo under their nails than join a Christian Church.

To make a long story short, it sucked!

After two years of being cold and rejected by a completely foreign society I began to think, "You know what? This whole Mormon thing is just so not me!"

It was at this point I began to fully understand: I am totally gay! I'm not just a gentleman that respects women; I'm a full blown homosexual. Things had never been so clear.

The clarity soon filled me with a feeling of peace that I had never before experienced; it was a real relief when I came to grips with the fact that I am gay, and that's ok. What other people thought didn't matter as much as what I thought. Wow! It was a great feeling! Is this how straight people feel all the time?

That is a very brief synopsis of my coming out process and affiliation with the Mormon Church…I’ll be diving more deeply into things in the future.