PUBLIC AFFAIRS: What would you say to those members in society, members of the Church, who may look at same-gender attraction as different than other temptations, than any other struggle that people face? First of all, do you think it’s a fair assessment that some people have that feeling? What would you say to them?
ELDER OAKS: I think it is an accurate statement to say that some people consider feelings of same-gender attraction to be the defining fact of their existence. There are also people who consider the defining fact of their existence that they are from Texas or that they were in the United States Marines. Or they are red-headed, or they are the best basketball player that ever played for such-and-such a high school. People can adopt a characteristic as the defining example of their existence and often those characteristics are physical. [Jacob: It's ironic that you compare being from Texas and being a Marine to being gay, for at least 2 reasons. First, both are generally considered to be homophobic and second, you would never legally deny someone the right to marry based on them being Texan and/or a Marine.]
We have the agency to choose which characteristics will define us; those choices are not thrust upon us. [Jacob: Ok, so my choices are being alone, unequal, and socially rejected; or in a loving relationship with the person I love. Hmmm, I'd say that's a no brainer!]
The ultimate defining fact for all of us is that we are children of Heavenly Parents, born on this earth for a purpose, and born with a divine destiny. Whenever any of those other notions, whatever they may be, gets in the way of that ultimate defining fact, then it is destructive and it leads us down the wrong path. [Jacob: Beliefs.]