New Years Resolutions

1. Find a good therapist (Check)
2. Make a career change and/or job change (Check)
3. Gain 10 lbs in muscle (Check)
4. Focus on people's good qualities in an effort to appreciate them more and improve my attitude towards them. (This is an on going thing, but something I still need to work on)

Taskmaster

The image in permanent view
My self-perception is askew
Ever trying to be
Like those images I see.

The ideal hanging over my head
Other endeavours left unfed
The taskmaster's lashing me;
No chains, yet I do not flee.

I'm afraid there's no place to run
He's been there since life's begun
There's no one crueler, you see;
For the taskmaster is me.

Deja Vu

I've had an unpleasant sort of Deja Vu this week. I guess it isn't so much Deja Vu as it is a relapse of old habits.

I had my first meet in 8 years last weekend. So I over prepared and kept myself real busy to the point where I forget to eat...then not eat enough...then end up feeling weak for my events. That part is definately familiar; however, the second part is just as familiar albeit worse. After my temporary eating disorder has kicked in, I usually get sick.

Yep, I feel 17 all over again. The nausea, the aches, the weak feeling in my bones...all too familiar!