Before I...

I feel the passage of time each day
And with every breathe life's slipping away
I struggle to take the air in deep
And wonder at night if I'll pass beyond sleep.

Pushing through the crowd as it pushes me
Where's left to look? Where can you be?
So many faces, my vision blurs
Will I find you while my soul still sturs?

When I find you will I know your face?
Or will you be a stranger in a foreign place?
Are you searching as I am now?
Or are you lost and don't know how?

I don't want to die before you're there,
Gazing at me with that loving stare.
Sharing the life we knew we would
And by each other understood.

Would it matter if I died today?
Lonely on our course to stay?
No, life does not wait for anyone
Not even for those who walk alone.

Deja Vu

I've had an unpleasant sort of Deja Vu this week. I guess it isn't so much Deja Vu as it is a relapse of old habits.

I had my first meet in 8 years last weekend. So I over prepared and kept myself real busy to the point where I forget to eat...then not eat enough...then end up feeling weak for my events. That part is definately familiar; however, the second part is just as familiar albeit worse. After my temporary eating disorder has kicked in, I usually get sick.

Yep, I feel 17 all over again. The nausea, the aches, the weak feeling in my bones...all too familiar!