New Years Resolutions

1. Find a good therapist (Check)
2. Make a career change and/or job change (Check)
3. Gain 10 lbs in muscle (Check)
4. Focus on people's good qualities in an effort to appreciate them more and improve my attitude towards them. (This is an on going thing, but something I still need to work on)

Walls

What's your motivation when the day is through?
Do you justify your actions by what's been done to you?
Do you do good to bind others to obligation,
To coerce some form of self gratification?

Is it a desire to purge yourself of guilt?
Former circumstances without protection built.
The walls defend against a pain's repeat,
But your walls inevitably bare defeat.

The walls cannot block the pain that's within
The barriers also thwart joy that could begin.

BS West

I went to BS West in Old Town Scottsdale last night and guess who I saw? Yep, Mr. Psycho-Ex himself. It had been such a long time since I'd seen him I had almost thought that he'd moved away.

It appears that he's learned his lesson though, I didn't see him after the initial sighting.

Rich from the swim team showed up as well, we had a good time. They played almost all of my recent favorites: Umbrella, Faster Kill Pussycat, and Shut Up and Drive.

It was fun, but I had a hard time dancing...I felt self-conscience. Just before I left for BS, I looked in the mirror and I thought I looked just like Napoleon Dynamite. Grrrr. It affected me so much that I had a dream I came into work in my underwear (those kind of dreams are usually a metaphor specifically pointing to insecurities about one's appearance). I think it's been over 10 years since I've had one of those...it was awful.