Fair? Petty?

There are a lot of emotions surrounding the idea of marriage. Honestly, I've never planned to enter into any type of union, but that's not the point. Being a typical libra I'm uncomfortable with inequality.

I brought my boyfriend to my parents house once after I came out (2004) and was politely asked to no do it again...and I've respected their wishes. I actually don't ever expect any partner I have (no matter how long we've been together) to be accepted in my parent's home.

My sister eloped with a non-Mormon in Hawaii and although emotions were strained with my family for a time they all attended their commitment ceremony in Hawaii. Also, her husband would not be excluded from family events based on their relationship.

Is it just me, or does that sound like a double standard?

Me, playing the part of myself, I think about the future and potential scenarios...

I have 4 unmarried siblings, how should I respond (or not respond) to invitations to their legally, socially and religiously endorced unions?

Should I set asside my ideals and principles about the issue, or should I try to level out the playing field in my own little world?

Should I only attend weddings when both parties support gay marriage 100% and the officiating entity does as well?


Is this fair? or is it just petty?

In Response To Ignorance: PART I

This is my humble attempt to thrust some reality and facts into Mormon rhetoric relating to gay people.

The following is taken directly from the LDS website whether the Mormon leader, Dallin H. Oaks gave an interview answering questions from a Mormon Public Affairs person.

In Response To Ignorance: PART I

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: At the outset, can you explain why this whole issue of homosexuality and same-gender marriage is important to the Church?

ELDER OAKS: This is much bigger than just a question of whether or not society should be more tolerant of the homosexual lifestyle [Jacob: Homosexuality is not a lifestyle, it is an attribute of a person's identify. Making a middle-class income is a lifestyle, residing in a city or in the country is a lifestyle; being gay or straight is not.]. Over past years we have seen unrelenting pressure from advocates of that lifestyle [Jacob: Elder Oaks fails to acknowledge the "unrelenting pressure" of the movement he belongs to.] to accept as normal what is not normal [Jacob: The idea of normal is very abstract. Every person on the planet has their own idea of "normal." In some people's opinions what the Mormons believe about god, heaven, marriage, the afterlife, etc. is abnormal.], and to characterize those who disagree as narrow-minded, bigoted and unreasonable [Jacob: This is called free speech. People are still free to call anyone a bigot regardless of whether or not gay marriage is legal.]. Such advocates are quick to demand freedom of speech and thought for themselves, but equally quick to criticize those with a different view [Jacob: The same laws that give you the right to condemn gays as sinners gives someone else the right to criticize those condemnations.] and, if possible, to silence them by applying labels like “homophobic. [Jacob: No one can legally silence you accept you. Since when does being labeled silence someone? You label gays as immoral, does that silence them?]” In at least one country where homosexual activists have won major concessions, we have even seen a church pastor threatened with prison for preaching from the pulpit that homosexual behavior is sinful [Jacob: Just for the record, the plaintiff dropped the charges before this case ever went to court. Also, one incident does not represent a movement or the sentiments of an entire community. The gay community has no spokesperson. Gay people exist in every culture, race, religion and class. A single person does not represent the views or goals of the gay community.]Given these trends, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must take a stand on doctrine and principle [Jacob: A hundred incidents doesn't necessarily represent a trend, you have only cited one. That is not a trend]. This is more than a social issue — ultimately it may be a test of our most basic religious freedoms to teach what we know our Father in Heaven wants us to teach [Jacob: The initiatives you and your church support have written your own personal beliefs into law. There are many churches who affirm gay marriage, why should your beliefs matter more than theirs? You are not protecting religious freedom, you are destroying it.].

General statements to Elder Oaks and the Mormon church: You are free to believe what you want; you are free to say what you want, but writing your own beliefs into law goes outside of free speech.

Pro-Gay-Marriage Mormons

I never would have believed that there are a significant number of Mormons who oppose the church's promotion of Propositions 8 and 102 in California and Arizona respectively, until my email discussion with extended family.

Somehow, I found it easy to write off all Mormons as close-minded on the issue.

Apparently the church has become more and more divided on the subject, "Prop 8: California gay marriage fight divides LDS faithful."

Brother's Mission Call

For those of you who are unfamiliar, a mission call is an important thing to young Mormon men. It's the time in their life when they find out where the Mormon church is going to send them to teach other people about the Mormon church.

My brother, Luke, sent in his information to Salt Lake City (Church Headquarters) a couple of weeks ago.

My personal guess was that he'd serve in Missouri, but turns out he'll be in the Florida Orlando Mission. Wow, crazy! Two years of your life in a place you've never been before. I can't believe it's been almost 9 years since I was going through the same thing. Gosh, I feel old.