Marriage - A Step Backward?

I keep on hearing arguments from gay people who are against gay marriage.

At first I thought, "Are you crazy? You have to be kidding me!"

They say, "We don't need marriage...", "We want to be different...", "We don't need government sanction..."

My answers are,

"No one NEEDS marriage. Being different isn't all that great when you have no choice but to be different. Of course we don't need government to sanction our love, but we need them to grant us equality and rights."

The more I think about this intercultural conflict the more it reminds me of the feminist movement. No matter how unequal men and women are, there will always be those comfortable with that. They are happy, and I think that's beautiful; for them.

The problem comes into play when a person's choices are limited simply based on their sex, gender, and/or sexual orientation. Even if they wanted the same thing as a man or straight couple, they can't have it. It's all about the choices that are available.

We cannot have a completely free society unless the same opportunities are available to all!

Marriage Amendment

Two sides to the issue of adding an Amendment to the constitution

The pro-amendment portion gets 20 more seconds of air-time than the other, but I think its clear who I mostly agree with.

Disinheritance

Yesterday while listening to NPR, I heard a commentary by Rich Cohen. Mr. Cohen is the author of the new book, Sweet and Low: a Family Story.

The commentary briefly described how a misunderstanding left his mother and himself with no portion of a rather large fortune. Cohen compared this grandmother's action of disinheritance to having a necessary flight permanently cancelled.

I have to admit I didn't understand why getting all that money was so necessary. Did Cohen build up insurmountable debt? If so, he has no one to blame but himself. Mr. Cohen, I have some advice for you; don't depend on money that isn't physically in your bank account!

While listening to the commentary, Cohen tries to convince the listener that the money doesn't really matter, only the message that it sent to him and his family. He and his family (he speaks for them) now feel ostracized; DNA is the only thing that connects him to a now estranged family.

Cohen communicates little accept his bitterness and feeling of betrayal. Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Oh, you poor little spoiled rich boy, you didn't cash in. Boo hoo. I'm sorry you didn't get your millions upon millions just for being born into a particular family.

I mean seriously, does he expect the general public to sympathize with him? He certainly knows his former peers won’t help; they live high through screwing the average person.

What is the point of this book? Is it to salvage some kind of fortune out of his experience? An act of desperation to cash in somehow? He hopes his children will never find out what happened, yet he's going to write a book about it? He must assume that "normal" people are stupid!

Mr. Cohen nobody cares about your misfortunes! As you will come to find out, "normal" people deal with disappointment and discouragement daily, we just don’t bitch about it on national radio.

Straight? Unhappy? www.gay.com

Who doesn't love a good parody? This billboard was poking fun at Exodus' ad saying: "Gay? Unhappy? www.exodus.to"

I came across this amusing little tid-bit while browsing the ACLU's GLBT section. My amusement; however, was short-lived when I found out that Exodus was threatening this blogger with a law suit.

How is it that an organization that practices a denounced method of "treating" (more like abusing) homosexuals can be so sensitive about a simple parody. They think it's ok to associate being gay with unhappiness and expect no criticism? Truly, this organization is just as silly as the others who think gay is synonymous with depression. "Runny nose, huh? A band aid on your toe should do the trick."

Homosexuality causes depression; yet another widely accepted fallacy!

Know Thyself

"Know thyself."~ Thales

I believe everyone spends their whole life figuring out who they are, expressing who they think they are, and receiving feedback from others about it.

Personally, I don't think that anyone ever really changes. The changes that most of us speak of occur when we change our actions, and not when we personally change. In short, we learn more and do things differently.

Take this for example...

I used to be a very conservative right-wing Mormon boy, then I served a mission in Japan. Over the course of two years, my whole perspective changed; I personally didn't change, but what I knew about the world and the people in it did.

...whether or not you buy that is up to you.

*******************************************

I think it’s important for each of us to strive to know ourselves; search for our strengths, weaknesses, talents, and tendencies.

It’s just as important to know our shortcomings as our strengths.

One of my worst tendencies is blaming myself for everything. For some odd reason, if someone accuses me of something, whether I did it or not, I feel bad. If someone is hurt or upset, I automatically think I'm the cause. It's very unhealthy, but knowing that its a weakness helps me overcome it.

Another one of my shortcomings is trying to please everyone; I'm addicted to praise. I totally agree with Xenophon, "The sweetest of all sounds is praise."

This may not sound bad, but its very self-defeating. Each person is responsible for their own happiness. No one should have to act a certain way or do specific things in order to make another person happy. Yet, I find myself, almost daily, trying to be the person that will make everyone happy.

What ends up happening is I work myself into the ground trying to be people's happiness, but they're still not happy. How frustrating!

When I finally realized that I couldn't "make" anyone happy...most of the pressure subsided. Still, more often than I'd like to admit, I try too hard to please.

Knowing yourself is the halfway point, don't be afraid; the journey is far more rewarding than you think.

Partner Equality

One of the greatest things about a gay relationship is the potential for real equality.

In a straight relationship there are inherent inequalities; for example, pregnancy. The woman is always the one to carry the children and because of this the best that a heterosexual relationship can hope for is 'trade off.'

Trade off is very difficult when you try to equate two very different roles. The woman carries the child(ren) and the man works...is this equal? I personally believe that this setup is a lot more equal than the ones that are most common today: the woman works, takes care of the kids, cooks the meals, and balances the check book; the man works. Now, I realize that this isn't how all straight couples are, but there are enough of these incredibly unequal relationships to spark dialog.

Over the last 50 years, the woman's role has been expanding at a much faster rate than men's, but at the same time the number of same-sex couples has been increasing...

I have often been told by my straight friends that I'm either the woman or the man in the relationship, but it’s a lot more dynamic than that. My partner and I compliment each other in that we take on whatever role is necessary to get the job done.

Since we are not the "usual" couple, we don't have rules about who should do what. If one of us is sad, the other takes on the typical woman's role, comforting and sympathizing. If dinner needs cooking, laundry needs folding, money needs making, or house needs cleaning one of us does it or we help one another. There are no expectations and no gender stereotypes.

Yes, it is a great time to be gay. We get closer and closer to equality with our partner and equality with straight couples every day. I hope that in the future the straight and gay communities can put their differences aside and learn from one another.

There is something to learn from everyone, I hope I'm alive to see that day!